I would love to be able to post something happy and informative right now, but I just don’t have it in me. When you’re told something that rocks your view on your own life, it takes a moment to sink in. And sometimes, the more it sinks in the more it hurts. The more you question what was true and what was just words, and if it will ever be the same again. Can it?
Part of what makes this so difficult is that I feel so alone in my thoughts. I don’t have a job to distract me, or local friends to turn to, and my best friends are far away and busy people. I don’t want my family to know, and I’m certainly not going to post my issues on the internet. This is a post that I’m even afraid to make public, because should my family or friends find it I don’t want to explain the situation. Should they find this, know that everyone is healthy, but I don’t want to talk about it. Just know that this is one of those times where I am sad, and honestly, don’t want to be cheered up. I know I won’t always feel this way, but I need some time to listen to sad songs and cry for a bit.
I hope if you are going through troubles that you have someone to talk to, and if not you can talk to me. I’m really a very good listener. I am totally, 100% honest when I say that you can come to me. Sometimes you feel like everybody’s got someone to talk to except you, and if I can alleviate that feeling I will do it in a heartbeat. Really, I don’t want others to feel as lonely as I do.
Take care, and I’m here if you need me.