Some issues…

I would love to be able to post something happy and informative right now, but I just don’t have it in me.  When you’re told something that rocks your view on your own life, it takes a moment to sink in.  And sometimes, the more it sinks in the more it hurts.  The more you question what was true and what was just words, and if it will ever be the same again.  Can it?

Part of what makes this so difficult is that I feel so alone in my thoughts.  I don’t have a job to distract me, or local friends to turn to, and my best friends are far away and busy people.  I don’t want my family to know, and I’m certainly not going to post my issues on the internet.  This is a post that I’m even afraid to make public, because should my family or friends find it I don’t want to explain the situation.  Should they find this, know that everyone is healthy, but I don’t want to talk about it.  Just know that this is one of those times where I am sad, and honestly, don’t want to be cheered up.  I know I won’t always feel this way, but I need some time to listen to sad songs and cry for a bit.

I hope if you are going through troubles that you have someone to talk to, and if not you can talk to me.  I’m really a very good listener.  I am totally, 100% honest when I say that you can come to me.  Sometimes you feel like everybody’s got someone to talk to except you, and if I can alleviate that feeling I will do it in a heartbeat.  Really, I don’t want others to feel as lonely as I do.

Take care, and I’m here if you need me.

…But still a good day

Tuesdays are Steven’s day off, and for almost a week I’ve been looking forward to it for one reason: Bowling.  We haven’t been bowling in quite some time, and I was so ready to change that.  And to involve Jake in our bowling adventures.  Bowling is just one of those kinda nerdy things that Steven and I have enjoyed since we started dating almost nine(?!) years ago.  He is much better at it than I am, but we always have a good time.  However, we don’t particularly like going to the bowling alley when it’s crazy busy (outside of league bowling.  Yup, we do league bowling and have even participated in local tournaments.  We haven’t won yet.), and I really don’t like cosmic bowling.  You know, when they turn on black lights and such.  Just not my cup of tea.  SO, going to the bowling alley on a Tuesday in the middle of the day when we basically have free reign of the place sounded awesome.  Plus, we wouldn’t have to worry about Jake running off and bothering others.  He might even get to roll a few frames himself, and the pictures would have been epic.  To top things off a Corner Bakery just opened nearby, and I was promised a meal there immediately.  I was giddy.  I was even going to vlog it all for my YouTube channel.  But, things did not go as planned.  Womp, womp.

About two weeks ago Steven bruised his ribs, and hasn’t really tended to the injury properly.  So the idea of twisting his ribcage with a 14 pound bowling ball for at least 3 games did not sound appealing.  In fact, the only thing on his agenda today was resting.  Can’t say I blame him, but I was definitely a little disappointed.  No worries, though, there will be other opportunities.  I, however, needed some out-of-house-not-at-the-grocery-store time so I headed to the mall sans husband and son.

I only spent about an hour or so at the mall today.  To be honest, I get bored, and I end up missing my boys.  I usually take the opportunity to go makeup and candle shopping, because I can’t imagine anything more boring to boys.  Jake literally melts down the moment we walk into Ulta.  Clockwork, I tell ya.  So today was a trip to the mini-Sephora in JC Penney (which I hadn’t been to since they opened it up a few years ago), Bath & Body Works, the Victoria’s Secret’s fragrance section, and MAC.  Plus, my Glossy Box for June was in the mail when I got home!  I may have a makeup problem.  Not really, but I do have a lot of makeup.  It’s my collection.  Some people have snow globes; I have makeup and nail polish.

I also got my meal at Corner Bakery at dinner time, and it was perfect.  If we didn’t have so many sweets in the house I would have gotten a whoopie pie (yum!), but I’ll save that for next time.

I plan on doing a haul video tomorrow to replace the vlog that would have gone up about today (had we gone bowling).  I know things are getting a little beauty-centric, but that’s just how life has been lately.  There will be more than just beauty things here, I promise.

Hope y’all are having a great week, and I’ll talk to you soon!